I really hate that my brothers had to find out about it this way, but well, here we are. Allah says:. And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your lifetime, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor be harsh with them, but address them in terms of honor. And lower to them the wing of humility through mercy. Suffice it to say that you should work really hard to get this aspect of your life straight as much as possible. The scope of this article is to address ways to improve what would already be considered a somewhat healthy relationship.
Sure, everyone could still pick up a few tips from this article that may help. But here are ten sure-fire ways to get you on your way. And make sure you share these tips with your siblings. This is one way to really build a great relationship with them.
With this one little act, it shows them you love and care about them, it shows that you respect them, and it shows that you honor them. Do things without them having to ask you for it. So when you shovel the snow in front of their house, you can be a little loud until they open the door to see their favorite child cleaning the driveway.
There will always be things that bother you with anybody.
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Unfortunately people tend to have much shorter tempers with their parents than they do with anyone else. One of the absolute worst things you can do in your life is to hold a grudge against your parents. You like going to the movies and your dad likes watching cricket. Ask them about the things that you know interest them.
You can find out if they are in need of anything, and while they may not say it, they just love to hear your voice.
This also goes for your children if you have them. Make sure they always keep a great relationship with their grandparents. Always speak highly to your children about their grandparents. Keep in touch with your aunts and uncles and grandparents and your other extended family. Very few things make your parents more proud of you.
They should be some of the first people you share good news with. Perhaps just after your spouse and just before you announce it on social media. Spreading the good news is one way to make sure your relationship is always strong. Even if you think you worked hard and did something on your own, make sure you give your parents their due rights.
If they compliment you on something, ask them where they think you got it from! Sometimes people get religious and the first thing that leaves them is their light heartedness and smile. Do we forget that the companions said that no one smiled as much as the Prophet s? It was narrated by Jarir ibn Abdullah that every time the Prophet Muhammad s saw him he smiled at him. Now what about our own mothers and fathers? Smiling at your parents goes a very long way. Just as we make our friends laugh and smile, we should do the same with our parents.
Never forget your parents in your prayers — whether they are alive or not. The Prophet s taught us that the prayer of a righteous child for his or her parents is one of the things that may still benefit someone after they have passed.
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Always be in the habit of praying for them. And when you always remember your parents in your prayers it will always keep your relationship strong. Not that they forget to, but it keeps their hearts tied to you. Is there any obedience to parents left that I can show to them after their death? To pray for them, to supplicate for their forgiveness, to fulfill their promises after their death, to maintain the ties of kinship which cannot be maintained except through them, and honor their friends.
I have spent about a decade serving the impoverished domestically and recently, abroad. It was something embedded in me while learning Islam. Before starting a charity organization, I started studying Islam with Dr. Hatem Alhaj my mentor and various other scholars. The more I studied, the more I wanted to implement what I was learning. What my community needed at the time was intensive charity work, as it was neglected entirely by our community. From that, I collected 10 lessons from servicing those in need. One of the first things I experienced was the bursting of my bubble, a sense of realization.
I, like many others, was unaware of the hardship in my own community. Yes, we know the hadith and see the events unfold on the news and social media, but when a father of three cried before me because a bag of groceries was made available for him to take home, that moment changed me. I then realized even more how beautiful Islam is for commanding this deed. Serving the poor is a great reward in itself. But it is better done with a team, I began building a team of people with similar objectives in serving the needy.
These people later became some of my closest friends, who better to keep close to you than one that serves Allah by helping the neediest in the same community you reside in.
Working with a team removes a lot of the burden as well and the depression that might occur seeing the saddest stories on a daily basis. Sometimes there is a misconception that you have to have a huge office or a large masjid in order to get work done. But honestly, all you need is a dedicated group of people with the right intention and things take off from there. This made me thankful for whatever I had, serving the less fortunate reminded me daily to turn to Allah and ask for forgiveness and so be thankful. This kind of service also puts things into perspective.
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What is truly important in life? I learned this from the poorest of people in my community, who strived daily for their family regardless of their situation — parents who did what they can to shield their children from their harsh reality. God will bring you near Him on the Day of Resurrection. They had a quality about them, despite their poverty status. They were always some of the kindest people I have known.
4. People want to do Good
I learned that people want to do good; they want to improve their community and society. I began to see the impact on a communal level, people were being more engaged. We were the only Muslim group helping indiscriminately in our county. Even the people we helped, gave back by volunteering at our food pantry. We have schools where small kids under adult supervision partake in preparing meals for the needy, local masajids, churches, and temples, high school kids from public schools, and college organizations Muslim and nonMuslim visit frequently from several cities in neighboring counties, cities, and states.
The good spreads a lot easier and faster than evil. People want to do good, we just need more opportunities for them to join in. United we can rock this world. Smiles, I have seen the wealthiest smiles on the poorest people. Despite being on the brink of homelessness, when I saw them they had the best smile on their faces. Smiles are truly universal. Crying before Allah, not just out of fear, but to be thankful for His Mercy upon you is a relief.
It was one of the hardest things I had to do, a lot if not all of the requests I received for help were extremely reasonable. I do not think anyone asked for anything outrageous. Our organization started becoming the go-to organization in our area for help, but we are one organization, with limited resources, and a few times we were restricted on when or how we could help.